Why America Sucks Pt.2

American people are nice.  American institutions are retarded.  If my experience with Homeland Security hasn't taught me that, the Secretary of State certainly has.

I tried to get my Michigan driver's license today.  The closest secretary of state branch was ~2 miles away.  Not bad really, but quite the trip for me due to my lack of vehiclar access.  Yes, I walked there.  Now since I was pretty sure I wouldn't want to walk a distance 2 miles ever again, I was extra diligent in bringing all my required documentation.  The website said to bring ID and proof of Michigan residency.  This is what I packed:

-Ontario drivers license
-Canadian passport
-WSU Student Card (w/ address of school)
-signed lease
-two pieces of mail from the bank: wire account transfer statement and debit card mail
-I-20 Student Visa form

Looks like I'm good to go!  Got both ID and proof of residency well covered.  Cool.  I head out.

I get there and I have to take a number.  The number I get is 30.  I look up at the ticker thing and it says 03.  Hrm... it's backwards right? my turn?  lol.  Nope.  I wait an hour sitting next to fat americans.  The entire time I'm lamenting over all the study time I'm losing out on haha.

Finally they call my number.  The proof of identity is fine, I give them my driver's license and passport, it's all good.  Next they ask me for my proof of residency.  I hand over everything I got.

Stupid American License Nazi:  Sorry, this is not sufficient sir, you need to come back with a bank statement.
Me:  Er, what? I brought a lease? It explcitly states on your website that a lease is enough.
SALN:  No sorry, we don't accept your lease.
Me:  What, why?  My signature is there, the terms of the lease are listed, I even have the receipt stapled to it.
SALN:  This is an incomplete lease, it's too short.
Me:  Too short?? wtf does that mean?
SALN:  A "real" lease is about 20 pages, yours is only 3.
Me:  Err... that's my entire lease, I don't have anything else, look, it says "APARTMENT LEASE" on the top.  I assure you it's a "real" and complete lease.
SALN: ... <blank stare>
Me:  Underneath is my name, signature, and the signature of the housing director.  It's a University residence, maybe that's why it's short but I assure you it IS complete, there's nothing more.
SALN:  My son goes to college and his lease is 20 pages.
Me:  (Uhhh... what does that have to do with anything?) ...  BITCH, DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR SON TO YOU?
SALN:  No he's much uglier.
Me:  That's what I thought.  Fuck.  Ok, what about this, these were mailed to me from my bank, one is a wire transfer statement and the other is when they sent me my debit card.  They both have my name and address on them.
SALN:  We need an OFFICIAL bank statement sir.
Me:  These are "OFFICIAL"
SALN:  No you need a bank statement.  How long have you been in Michigan?
Me:  About 3 weeks why?
SALN:  Oh, then you won't have a bank statement yet then.
Me: ... NO SHIT SHERLOCK
SALN:  Yeah, you'll need to come back when you do.
Me:  Wtf.  Wait wait, what about my I-20 Student Visa, it clearly states on here "NON-COMMUTING Wayne State University student".  That means I live in Michigan right?
SALN:  Bank statement.
Me:  !!!  I CLEARLY live in Michigan, give me my license you vile monstrosity of a woman!
SALN:  No.
Me:  You are stoooooooopid.
SALN:  Please leave now.
Me:  Argh.  Damn you!  DAMN YOUUUUUUU!!  YOU'RE RACIST, YOU'RE ALL RACISTS!!!!  THIS IS EGREGIOUS, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!

Gah.  Stupid goverment.  Homeland security has stooopid policies, so too does the secretary of state.  What's next?  The mayor is gonna come give me a headache. -__-"

I read an interesting article in the Toronto Star today about a study showing that women with higher levels of Vitamin D are at lower risk for developing breast cancer.

This is phenomenal news.  As a future physician, I feel it is my personal obligation to be a health advocate on this matter and get the word out.  This is information that deserves marked attention from women everywhere.  The four major cancers that are killing us are lung, colon, prostate, and breast cancer.  This isn't a minor thing as cancer will soon eclipse cardiac problems as the major cause of mortality in developed countries (in fact, it probably has by now--and this is really due to the fact that cardiac people are getting just that much better at saving lives).

Anyway, back to breast cancer--bottomline, it's major, so ladies listen up.

As most people know, Vitamin D is known as the sunshine vitamin.  Direct exposure to sunshine is perhaps the most natural way for your body to synthesize Vitamin D.  Since spring has arrived and the sun is shining, now is the perfect time to take advantage of the knowledge gained from this recent study.  The more you expose your body to the sun, the more Vitamin D you will make.  This doesn't mean exposure only in time, but in surface area.  Get those yummy sun-rays all over your body!

Indeed, my own personal theory is that sunlight directly in the area of the breasts will have an even greater effect.  Thus for your health, I encourage you all to dress scandalously.

Here is an ad I made to more succintly illustrate my point:

Thank you all.  And remember, always take care of your health.

i am sorry to disappoint all the ladies chasing me out there, but i am happy to say that i am now off the open market as i have a new girlfriend.  here is a picture of us:

she's hot i know, it wasn't easy to win her heart.  i was nervous enough just to approach her!  after i worked up the courage to talk to her though, i next impressed her with my crazy dance skills:

by that time she was begging for it, but one more challenge remained... yes, i had to unleash the beast within my pants:

and yo, let me tell you, my girlfriend ain't shabby either.  i was on permanent screw-face for like a week:

the end.

lol.  so ya, went to first markham today to support calvin in his commercial shoot haha, here are some other random pics:

this red/yellow painted room was awesome as a backdrop lol

matt + calvin(with make-up!) o_O"

a muthafucking XL-2 bitches.

look out for this commercial on a tv-screen near you haha

more pics up on ftp for download.

a final bonus pic, you know, in case anyone wants to print it out as a full-size poster and hang it above their bed:

merry christmas and happy holidays!!

since the last time we tried to make dessert was such a huge success (see below), seven months later we decided to give it another go--this time we tried something easier:

yummy...

now of course, like true bakers, we made subtle improvements on the recipe; for example, we added charred-burning for that extra crispy charcoal flavour lol.  i'm proud to present our cake, or what might be more accurately described as a deformed mass of sugary substances:

...

...lol, yeah...